Waking Up
by Cookie-rookie
Summary: Kaneki remembers Hide dying. He remembers the blood and warmth leaving the blonde's body as Kaneki stood frozen in shock at the sight. Kaneki remembers holding Hide as the blonde took his last breath. He remembers pain so strong that all of his other senses became numb. He remembers walking towards the strongest investigator with Hide's cooling body. Time Travel AU. .
1. Chapter 1

**Waking up**

**Note: takes place right after the ending of Root A**

* * *

Kaneki remembers Hide dying. He remembers the blood and warmth leaving the blonde's body as Kaneki stood frozen in shock at the sight. Kaneki remembers holding Hide as the blonde took his last breath. He remembers pain so strong that all of his other senses became numb. He remembers walking towards the strongest investigator with Hide's cooling body. He remembers facing his death and how the stinging pain he felt in his neck as it was cut pales in comparison to the pain of losing Hide.

He remembers the darkness and a familiar voice calling his name.

So why is it that he woke up? He wants death. A life without Hide is not worth living and he wants to go home with the blonde. So why is he now staring at a brightly lit white ceiling surrounded by the whirs and beeps of machines? Can he not just die? Did they think that sparing a ghoul that murdered and killed their friends is justice? Can't they see that life without Hide is just not life?

The sound of a door opening followed by footsteps were heard as a chair –Kaneki assumes it's a chair- was dragged on what sounded like tiled floor.

"Press the call button if anything changes or you need help" a kind feminine voice said as the chair rattled to a stop.

Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut. He doesn't want to live. Why do they torture him with life? Hide_, Hide, __**Hide**_; Kaneki promised he would go home with Hide. Why do they have to make Kaneki break his promise?

"Also, Mister Kaneki hasn't woken up yet so if he does; please press the call button. Dr. Kanou would like to make sure his patient is okay".

_Dr. Kanou_. Was the CCG working with that despicable man? Kaneki squeezed his eyes tighter and clenched his fists tightly as he tried to calm himself.

Did Kaneki somehow arrive in Kanou's hands? Why would the CCG want to work with such a monster? They should just kill the man. Or is Kanou the only one who could take out Kaneki's implanted kagune?

Fate is cruel and if that man ever approached Kaneki again, he would kill-

"Sure thing!" a cheerful voice rang out and Kaneki froze.

That was _Hide's _voice. Cheerful and perky, Kaneki could just imagine the blonde giving a mock salute along with a wink. But Hide is dead. Kaneki felt Hide give his last breath as he died in Kaneki's arms. So why is Kaneki hearing Hide's voice?

"Hide" Kaneki rasped as tears streaked down his face. Even if it was only his mind playing tricks, Kaneki wants to deny Hide's death. Without Hide, everything is numb. More tears started to streak down Kaneki's cheeks as he refused to open his eyes.

"Kaneki?" Hide's voice took on a worried tone and the feminine voice spoke softly into **something**.

Kaneki kept his eyes closed. He doesn't want to face a world without Hide; so Kaneki will choose insanity and hearing Hide's voice in his head. Just because the CCG forced him to live doesn't mean that they can force him to stay _**sane**_.

"K-kill me" Kaneki spoke softly, cheeks soaked with his tears and eyes still closed tightly. Why does this have to happen to him? Why can't he die and keep his promise to Hide? Why must he be tortured with the fact that Hide is **dead**?!

"Kaneki!" Hide's voice shouted and suddenly a pair of warm hands gripped his shoulders.

Kaneki's eyes flew open in surprise at the familiar hold and memories of _'don't you know? Rabbits can die from loneliness!' _

But that wasn't it. When his eyes opened, his tear blurry gaze fell upon a shape. A shape that strongly resembled Hide from Kaneki's memories of their shared Kamii days. "Hide?" Kaneki asked again as he blinked away some of his tears.

The shape is Hide. A Hide whose eye's still sparkle and wearing his obnoxiously bright orange headphones around his neck. Everything screamed _**happiness, home, and sunshine**_.

More tears filled Kaneki's vision as he started sobbing at the sight. Even if it was an illusion, Kaneki still loves it. He wants to get lost in it and a bright smiling Hide is leaning over Kaneki. Kaneki wants to-

"Dude?" the tone is so familiar and Kaneki wants to reach out and grab ahold of Hide, "are you okay? Don't worry, the doctor is com-"

-hug Hide. So he did. Reaching up with arms that didn't really feel like his own, Kaneki tugs Hide down to his chest and tightly held the blonde.

Burying his face into the crook of Hide's neck, Kaneki inhals deeply. It feels so real; if illusions about Hide were going to feel this real, Kaneki doesn't care about falling down into insanity.

"Kaneki?" Hide asks in a hushed tone, "are you okay?"

Kaneki just held on tighter so that the blonde was forced into climbing onto the bed to be comfortable. Breathing deeply, Kaneki kept his eyes opened as he chants Hide's name again and again.

"Oh my, well this is surely something I don't see every day" a familiar voice spoke up and Kaneki didn't repress his growl.

"Kanou" he hissed in a dangerously low voice. Kaneki tightens his grip on Hide to a painful vice grip as he tries to place Hide behind him.

Even if it is an illusion, Kaneki can't bear the thought of Hide being in the same area as such a monster.

Groaning, Hide squirms in Kaneki's hold and whispers harshly into Kaneki's ear, "can you loosen your grip? Its really painful". Kaneki looks up at Hide's face and loosens his hold by a slight margin.

Even if it was an illusion, Kaneki can't bear to see Hide uncomfortable. But Kanou is still in the room and Kaneki isn't about to let Kanou get anywhere close to illusion-Hide.

"As much as I want you to be happy-" Kaneki didn't bother to face the old man who is probably smiling at the sight of Kaneki "- I still need to check you vitals".

Kaneki saw a nurse move out of the corner of his eyes and growls roughly. The nurse stops moving and familiar hands started to pat Kaneki's shoulders.

"Chill man, she just needs your temperature" Hide laughed as he pats Kaneki's back in comfort, "the quicker you get this done, the sooner we can go home" Hide smiles widely and Kaneki froze.

Kaneki remembers. He made a promise to Hide that they would go home together. Does this mean that after whatever Kanou does, Kaneki will be killed? Can he finally go home with Hide?

"Go home" Kaneki whispered to himself softly. Slowly sitting up, Kaneki releases his hold on Hide. Keeping his eyes on Hide, Kaneki held onto Hide's hand tightly, "let's go home, Hide".

Hide gave a stunned look for a moment before tightening his hand around Kaneki's, "yeah" Hide smiled "let's go home".

Kaneki made to stand up but was blocked by both the nurse –who moved in front of him- and Hide holding onto the hospital garb.

"You can't leave without permission, you could still be suffering from your accident" the nurse said sternly and held out a thermometer to Kaneki's mouth.

Kaneki refused to open his mouth as he stared at the nurse in disbelief.

"Dude!" Hide whispered harshly in Kaneki's ear as he tugs at Kaneki's hospital garb aggressively, "you need to have a checkup before you can leave the hospital. They can't release you without checking your vitals!"

Kaneki frowned at Hide and opened his mouth to-

-only have the nurse shove the thermometer in his mouth. Scrunching his face up, Kaneki prepared himself to spit the thermometer out only to stop as Hide leans onto his shoulders.

"You're a really quick healer" Hide said in a low tone that clearly meant for only Kaneki to hear.

Looking sideways at the blonde, Kaneki narrows his eyes in confusion. Hide knows that Kaneki is a half ghoul and ghouls always heal quickly.

"Well, you are very lucky, Mister Kaneki" Dr. Kanou said and Kaneki feels the temptation to turn to the man and glare; but Hide had tightened his grip on Kaneki's gown when Dr. Kanou spoke.

Kaneki just scowled with the thermometer still in his mouth at illusion-Hide.

Hide turns his head and Kaneki swore that the illusion just giggled.

A sharp annoying beeping was heard, and the nurse quickly took the thermometer out and read the temperature off to Kanou.

The sounds of paper being flipped was heard as Kanou asked the nurse to start taking Kaneki's blood pressure.

"Mister Kaneki" Kaneki reluctantly turned his face to the smiling Kanou and tightened his hand hold on Hide. "You were in an accident" Kanou paused to look down at the papers on his clip board "but your vitals have stabled out and you seem to be out of the danger zone". Kanou flipped more papers on the clip board over, looking for all purposes as a regular doctor, "typically we would have you stay one more night to watch you, but you seem to be fine and ready to go already" Kanou released a chuckle that was mimicked by the nurse who was done taking Kaneki's pulse.

Putting her machine away, the nurse prattled about Kaneki's blood pressure.

Frowning slightly, Dr. Kanou wrote in his clip board as he clucked his tongue. "As I was saying, we normally keep patients for overnight observations but you seem to be in healthy enough if we ignore the soreness and exhaustion you're probably feeling" Kanou flipped all the papers back so that no papers were hanging over the board "but we have no reason to keep you against your will, so promise me that you will take it easy and get rest-" Kanou paused as he gazed at Kaneki, "-then I can let you go".

Kaneki opened his mouth, preparing to ask why Kanou thinks that he could keep a half ghoul detained by not killing it.

But Hide's quickly interrupts Kaneki, "I promise to watch over him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid!"

Dr. Kanou grins at illusion Hide as if he could see the Hide that Kaneki created in his mind, "well, with such a trust worthy friend here I should let you go; just allow me to gather your release papers and then after this, everything will be done". Kanou smils and leaves the room, the nurse follows after the doctor.

Hide smiles brightly as he waves them off before nudging Kaneki's sides gently. "Are you sure that you are feeling okay? You just woke up and the doctor expected it would take a few more days for that to happen" he looks at Kaneki who glares at the place where Dr. Kanou just was.

Of course, Kaneki didn't register anything; for he was too busy contemplating and listing what just happened.

_Dr. Kanou just referred to Hide as if Hide was there. Hide, who is merely an illusion of the now dead Hide. But Kanou referred to Hide as if the blonde was actually sitting on the bed next to Kaneki. But Kaneki had held Hide as the blonde bleed to death with a smile. Kanou was not the only one who saw Hide, the nurse moved and talked as if Hide was actual there._

Kaneki brought his hands up to hold his head.

_Hide is dead, but Hide is there sitting on the bed. Hide is dead, but Hide's warm hand is in Kaneki's hand. Hide is dead, but everyone acts like Hide is not. Hide is dead, but Hide is not acting like he knows that._

_Hide is an illusion, but Dr. Kanou and the nurse saw Hide. Hide is an illusion, but he didn't feel like an illusion. Hide is an illusion, but Kaneki had illusions before and they never felt like this. Hide is an illusion, but the warmth of his hand is not. Hide is an illusion, but the wrinkles in the seat where Hide is sitting is not. Hide is an illusion, but Kaneki can hear and smell the warm flowing blood in Hide. Hide is an illusion, but Hide is not._

_Hide is dead, but Kaneki is a half ghoul and can tell if Hide is dead or not. Hide is dead, but Kaneki can hear and feel the still running blood and warm body as it breaths. Hide is dead, but Hide is not._

Gasping for breath, Kaneki grips his head tightly as tears stream down his face.

"Kaneki" warm hands rub Kaneki's back only to leave as equally warm arms wrapped around Kaneki. Pressing his front into Kaneki's back, Hide laid his head on Kaneki's shoulders as he started to rock himself and Kaneki slowly in rhythmic patterns. "Its okay" he breathed into Kaneki's ear, causing Kaneki to flinch at the familiar motion that both Rize and Hide have done before. "You've been through a lot" Hide stops rocking and hums, "you deserve to go home".

Kaneki's sobbing eased slightly at Hide's close breathing, warm, and _**alive**_ body presses into Kaneki's back. "But you died" Kaneki whispers and Hide's arms tighten.

"Only in your nightmares" Hide says and Kaneki doesn't need to turn around to see the grin on the blonde's face "but I'm here and we can go home now".

Kaneki gulps desperately and his sobbing gradually slows down. "You're right" he whispers in a dazed voice, "let's go home, Hide".

"Yeah, but we still have a problem" Kaneki tenses and Hide removes his arms so that he could position himself so that he was dramatically sprawled across Kaneki's lap. "Whose apartment are we staying at and if it's yours, can I move in?" he asks with a silly grin and Kaneki laughs in a way that he thought he forgotten how to do. Hide made an over-exaggerated 'thinking face' at Kaneki, "we should move into your apartment, it's bigger and I could pay half the rent. My lease has expired so we can total do it that way" Hide nods to himself and Kaneki kept on laughing.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Kaneki asks playfully in-between his chuckles.

Hide pouts, "but we need a home. So it should totally be the apartment with the bigger space, I can sell anything that can't fit into your apartment and we can totally share a bed! We did it when we were younger!" Hide whines energetically.

"Okay" Kaneki agrees and gives a wide smile. Typically, it took minutes for Kaneki to give in to Hide's demands.

Blinking his surprise away, Hide gives Kaneki a bright smile, "ye-"

Kaneki's stomach interrupts with a growl earning a laugh from Kaneki and Hide.

"Dude!" Hide got off of Kaneki's lap with a barking laugh, "the nurse left your meal right next to you" he points to the bedside table that Kaneki was just out of reach for. Getting the tray, Hide approaches Kaneki and passes the tray over.

Kaneki stares hard at the food on the tray. Did Hide being alive mean that what happened to Kaneki was all a dream? Picking up utensils that he hasn't used for such a long time, Kaneki immediately brought a piece of fish into his mouth. Hoping that he could now taste the flavors that he has long forgotten.

Except, with all his hope and anticipation of tasting the flavor of fish, Kaneki wasn't expecting to taste dirt. Choking of the fish, Kaneki pounded his chest before he spat out the piece of fish.

Why wasn't he able to eat the fish? Hide is alive so why is this different?

"Are you okay?" and Kaneki had forgotten that Hide was there the whole time.

* * *

A/N: The ending continued. To help ease my pain, I admitted to myself that yes, Hide died and Kaneki followed after. But since this is the TG universe, I can get away with things like 'Time Travel for the mind'. Kaneki remembers a different path of what he could go down. Think of it this way: TG is a game with two endings. These two endings are good and bad. First play-through, Kaneki got the bad ending.

Might work on this later. Watching the _TG Root A_ ending really ruffled my feathers, I try to work on 'Experiments' and I come back to what could have been if Kaneki did one thing differently from the very beginning (besides not going out with Rize).


	2. Chapter 2

**Waking up**

**Note: Takes place after Root A ending.**

* * *

_Why wasn't he able to eat the fish? Hide is alive so why is this different?_

"_Are you okay?" and Kaneki had forgotten that Hide was there the whole time. _

/

Why couldn't he eat the fish? Why did it not taste like fish? Even with his fading memory of taste, Kaneki remembers that fishes aren't supposed to taste like that. So why? Why was he unable to eat the fish?

"Dude," Hide spoke in a low voice and Kaneki quickly brought his head up to view the blonde's expression.

Staring at Hide, Kaneki briefly saw a thoughtful look flash across the blonde's eyes before being replaced by the trademark cheerful grin and sparkling eyes.

What was Hide thinking? He already knew Kaneki was-

"Hospital food always taste bad! What were you thinking when you-"

-a ghoul. Hide already knew that Kaneki was a ghoul. So why is he acting like he doesn't? He knows and for that reason, Hide sought Kaneki even if it meant the blonde's death.

But is Kaneki still a ghoul? Hide is alive so that means that everything must have been a dream. If that is so, why is he unable to taste the fish? Is it truly because hospital food is terrible or is it something else? Is Kaneki still a ghoul?

When did he start thinking like this? It should be a given that Kaneki is still a ghoul and Hide is dead. But Hide is not dead therefore Kaneki should not be a ghoul. So why does the thought of being a ghoul sound normal? Hide's alive so that's supposed to mean that Kaneki isn't a ghoul. But the fish, why wasn't Kaneki able to eat the fish?

"Ka-ne-ki, Ka-ne-ki, KANEKI!" Hide chanted as he gently shook Kaneki.

"Hide," Kaneki whispers the name with reverence. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he gazed at Hide. "Is this a dream?" he asks softly.

Hide frowned as he pinched Kaneki, "I don't think so, did you feel that?" Not waiting for Kaneki's response Hide grabbed Kaneki's head and started ruffling the other's hair. "Can you feel that?!" he asked in excitement.

"Let go!" Kaneki shouted with disdain as he escaped Hide's grip and glared at the blond. "I'm being serious."

Hide pouted and crossed his arms as he stared at Kaneki, "I am being serious!" He whined and Kaneki just looked at Hide in disbelief, "what's with that face! I'm being like fifty percent serious!"

"Am I dreaming?" Kaneki asked again in a low voice.

Hide grinned at Kaneki as he placed his hands on his hips. "You dream about me? Are they good dreams?" Hide's grin turned into a leer, "you total have wet dreams that star me, don't you? Not that I blame you, I am sexy-"

"-No!" Kaneki yelled with a blush as he interrupts Hide. How long has it been since he and Hide joked around like this? How long has it been since he last blushed? How long has it been since the last time Hide had made him blush? How long has it been since he got second-hand embarrassment?

Coughing into his fist, Kaneki takes a deep breath before placing the food tray onto the bed. Ignoring the soreness of his body, Kaneki stood up and observed the familiar looking hospital room. Where has he seen this room before? When does he remember being in a room just like this?

Walking over to the room's mirror, Kaneki froze as he saw his reflection.

"Aww, you don't have to pretty yourself up just for me," Hide mocked as skipped over to Kaneki.

Why wais his hair black? What happened to the white? Hide is alive but Kaneki couldn't taste the fish. Why? Is Hide truly just an illusion? Why can't this make sense to Kaneki?

Kaneki shook his head and tightly closed his eyes in thought.

He already went over some of this. Hide is alive; he is not an illusion Kaneki's mind had thought up to cope with the pain. Others were able to see Hide, so Hide is not an illusion.

So what is this situation? Hide is not an illusion, nor was the lack of taste the fish had. The fish tasted just like human food did after Kaneki became a ghoul. So does that mean that Kaneki is still a ghoul?

Kaneki braced his hands against mirror as he opened his eyes.

If he's a ghoul, then what is up with his hair? Didn't becoming a ghoul make his hair change? No, it didn't. Kaneki remembers that after becoming a ghoul, his hair remained the same. So what had happened? Kaneki remembers Jason and the torture he went through, that is what made his hair change to white. But that still doesn't explain what happened to his hair. Did the CCG do something? Did they dye his hair? Why would they do that? True, his hair didn't physically change when he was carrying Hide, but Kaneki remembers the feeling of it changing mentally. Like with Jason and how his hair changed both mentally and physically.

"Dude! Don't pull at your hair like that!" Hide shouted as he tried to remove Kaneki's tugging hands. "If you keep that up, you're going to go bald!"

Kaneki ignored Hide as he brought his fist to his face. Inspecting the strands that clung to his skin, Kaneki felt a chill go up his spine. The roots were not white but instead black. Typically that would be fine if Kaneki had dyed his hair white but he didn't. So why were his roots black? Looking back into the mirror, Kaneki inhaled sharply as his eyebrows and eyelashes were no longer white as well.

"Kaneki!?"

What is going on? Everything is different. Hide is alive, Kaneki is probably still a ghoul, and his hair is no longer white. Did the CCG try to experiment on him? Did they try to revert him back into a human being? Is that why his hair is no longer white? But that makes no sense. His hair never changed because he became a ghoul, so why is it changed now?

Hands gripped Kaneki's shoulders tightly as he was spun around to face Hide. "Snap out of it!" Hide yelled, eyes wide as he stared at Kaneki.

"Hide" Kaneki whispered as he brought his hands up to grip Hide's back. Hugging the blond tightly, Kaneki buried his head into Hide's shoulder, "what's happening to me?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Hide bit his lip. "Let's just go home," Hide whispered back as he returns Kaneki's tight hold. "But we can only leave after we pay and get your papers. Don't want them following us for debt!" Hide hummed.

Kaneki ignored Hide's comment.

"Dude, you got to release me, I don't want to do a crab shuffle down the stairs; we want to get out of the hospital, not stuck in it for falling down the stairs!"

* * *

**A/N: Not going to lie. _I thought I already posted this chapter up on FF. _Turns out, I only posted ch.2 up on Ao3. For ch.3 I point you over my ao3 account. Also, if any of you have questions about this story that you want answered immediately, go over to ao3 and ask me. I can actual respond to your comments immediately verses a delay of waiting for the next chapter to come for your questions to be answered. **

**Onto pairings, the only pairings that this story shall produce is Kanehide/Hidekane and other canonical anime side pairings.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Waking up**

**Note: Takes place after TG root A ending**

* * *

_Hide bit his lip, "let's just go home" Hide whispered back as he returned Kaneki's tight hold. "But we can only leave after we pay and get your papers. Don't want them following us for debt!" Hide hums._

_Kaneki ignored Hide._

"_Dude, you got to release me, I don't want to do a crab shuffle down the stairs; we want to get out of the hospital, not stuck in it for falling down the stairs!"_

/

Kaneki was stuck. Not in the LITERAL use but more in the FIGURITIVE use. He was in the past when he first became a ghoul. Sure he would've liked if he was back in his human body instead –because becoming a ghoul really sucked and no one will make or convince Kaneki that it didn't- but beggars can't be choosers.

The only reason why Kaneki wasn't going crazy was purely because of his want of 'being a better person' for Hide.

Hide was alive and that's all that really mattered to Kaneki. But that didn't stop this whole thing from becoming another tragedy. Hide was alive, that was a positive but Kaneki was a half-ghoul and that was a negative.

Not that Kaneki was worried about being accepted. No, he already knew that Hide would rather choose to die if it meant securing Kaneki's happiness and safety. Kaneki didn't like that of course but that wasn't the problem to address. The problem was that Kaneki had traveled back in time to the era before Hide knew about Kaneki becoming a ghoul.

Which meant that Hide didn't know about Kaneki becoming a ghoul yet.

To make matters worse, Kaneki and Hide decided to live together. At the time, Kaneki agreed with the decision. He still does but he wished he thought more about the plan. Meaning that either Kaneki found a way to tell Hide or Hide found out after forcing human meals down Kaneki's throat in an attempt to help.

Add to the fact that Kaneki was just released from the hospital so he couldn't "know" that he was a ghoul right away. It would be suspicious if Kaneki went with that route; Hide would be able to tell something was off.

Blame all the cliché time travel movies Hide was obsessed with in middle school, but Kaneki didn't know that if he followed the 'just tell Hide immediately' plan if it would lead to Kaneki spilling all sorts of future information. Not that Hide would had been unable to find out by himself –Kaneki knows for a fact that there are few people with instincts and minds like Hide- but Kaneki would rather dodge any potential danger to Hide than tell the blond.

So when Hide came through the apartment's entryway bearing 'gifts', Kaneki sat frozen from where he was in front of the TV.

"Honey! I'm home!" Hide mockingly cheered and Kaneki couldn't even find the energy to be embarrassed.

Of all the times for Hide to walk through the door, Hide had to choose now. Kaneki hadn't even come up with a valuable excuse not to eat the food, or to think of when to explain his situation to Hide.

So Kaneki did the only option left: he distracted Hide. "What are you going to do about your stuff, again?" Kaneki asked immediately as Hide entered the living room.

"I already told you my plan to sell what can't fit," Hide gently placed the big filled with 'Big Girl' burgers on the table in front of the TV.

Kaneki smiled. "You cancelled the contract? How much money did it cost to nullify the contract?"

"Nope, no money cost. My lease was coming up for renewal this month," Hide confessed with a bright smile as he rested his hands on his hips. "I decided against renewal since you agreed to me renting with you."

Kaneki sighed in relief, "mine's coming up for renewal this month too."

"Dude-"

Kaneki cut off Hide, "let's get a different apartment together." He gave Hide a small grin before turning to face his bookshelf, "there's not much room for more furniture in this apartment."

Hide cocked his head to the side as he closed his eyes. "Solid point," Hide smirked as he opened his eyes, "then let's do it! Any ideas for the new apartment? We can split the rent 50-50 but the building should still be close to campus."

"Just what I was thinking," Kaneki laughed slightly as Hide dramatically sat next to him.

Hide grinned as he hummed slightly, arms spread wide as they rested on the back of the couch. "So what kind of apartment are we talking about? It can't be a studio, so will it be a one bedroom, two bedroom?"

"One Bedroom," Kaneki replied as he leaned back against the couch, "I was thinking about us sharing a bedroom and everything else in the living room, like what we discussed at the hospital."

Hide nodded his head as he shifted in his seat.

When was the last time that Kaneki sat this close to the blond without worrying about Hide being a human and Kaneki being a ghoul? Kaneki really missed these carefree moments.

"No living room is big enough to hold your books and mine, Kaneki." Hide chuckled as he gestured to a neatly stacked bookshelf with equally neat piles of books on the floor.

Kaneki smiled at the books. In the original time line, his books –and the books given to him by his father and mother- were probably sold if Hide didn't have them. But if Hide did have them he must have sold his own books to make room for Kaneki's. It was something that Kaneki never really focused on but now that he did, Kaneki never wanted Hide to give up anything for Kaneki's happiness.

"I guess I'll have to sell mine." At Kaneki's statement Hide jolted as he'd been burned.

"No way!" Hide shouted sternly, "those are the books that your dad gave you! They're the only thing you have to remind you of him! And the ones your mom gave you when you were young! You can't just give up the only connection to your past!"

Kaneki flinched, not because of Hide's volume but how Kaneki originally gave up his past in order to live a somewhat content life. Somewhat, because his life as a ghoul couldn't compare to the happiness he felt when he was human.

"We'll get a two bedroom apartment!" Hide declared as he stood up from his seat.

Kaneki gaped at his friend, "but the good ones cost a lot!"

"It's either that or I'll get rid of my books," Kaneki made to retort at Hide's statement only to have a hand slap over his mouth. "Nope, not listening!" Hide announced. "I won't allow you to give up the past in order to make me happy, friends don't ask other friends to do that. Besides, those books hold happy memories for you," Hide said softly.

Kaneki smiled up at the standing Hide, if anyone was to remind him of his humanity it would be Hide. And of course Hide would protect Kaneki's books, Hide was the one who retrieved them after Kaneki's Aunt had threw them out.

Softly grabbing one of Hide's hand, Kaneki brought it up to his forehead as he remembered all of the things Hide had done for him throughout their childhood. Hide was the only thing that kept Kaneki alive during those times.

"I'm sorry," Kaneki whispered.

Because becoming a ghoul wasn't the reason for his loss of humanity. Sure, being a half ghoul made it difficult to retain his humanity but Kaneki didn't lose his humanity when Rize came into his life. No, becoming a ghoul did not make Kaneki loose it. But becoming a ghoul did make Kaneki forget. Forget about how happy he was when he was human, about how much joy he had then and how much he wanted to be human again. Hide was what brought Kaneki's humanity back. Nothing else was connected to his humanity enough except Hide. Nothing brought Kaneki more joy than Hide.

"What are you apologizing for?" Hide asked, disrupting Kaneki's thought.

Kaneki's eyes widen briefly as he was brought back to what was happening. "Nothing," he said as closed his eyes in thought, "what were we talking about?"

"A new apartment," Hide responded immediately, "are you feeling faint? Do you need to go back to the hospital?"

Kaneki shook his head, "no. I was just thinking about a potential new place, want to go see it with me?" he asked as he opened his eyes to stare up at Hide.

"Sure man, when is this happening?" Hide asked, raising an eyebrow at Kaneki.

Kaneki smiled largely, "tomorrow, you don't have a class then, right?"

"Don't have class? What are you talking about?! We both have a class tomorrow!" Hide laughed as he stared hard at Kaneki, "we both have a- oh wait, I have your notes and missing works."

Kaneki laughed. "What kind of work and notes are missing? We only have three classes together this semester," He pointed out to Hide, who was shuffling stuff in the kitchen.

"Dude, are you forgetting you only have three classes this semester! Of course I would have the notes for all of your classes." Hide retorted as the paper shuffling stopped. "I forgot our Asian History notes in my apartment but here are the notes and assignments for everything but Asian History" Hide said as he walked into the living room in order to place a stack of paper on the table.

Kaneki eyed the papers in front of him distrustfully, "thanks."

It had been such a long time since he actually participated in college. To Kaneki it felt like another lifetime all together. A very short and happy dream filled with a limitless possibility of the future.

"Don't thank me yet, you haven't seen the pile of work we got for Asian History. Trust me, the amount of work is brutal for those in class, imagine what it'll be like for you."

Kaneki scrunched his nose up in distaste. "I would rather start doing my Asian History first if that's the case."

"But it's in my apartment!" Hide whined, "I would have to walk alone in this darkness just to get home and get back here!"

Kaneki frowned to himself as he got up and walked to a window. "Sunset hasn't happened yet, you need to be quick about it. And I'll be there with you."

"You should stay home, you just got released from the hospital," Hide retorted after a moment of silence.

Kaneki smiled at Hide, "I want to protect you."

"Protect me?" Hide snorted with laughter and disbelief in his voice, "I don't really need protection, especially from someone who just got out of the hospital."

Kaneki laughed at Hide, "just because I got out of the hospital today doesn't mean I'm weaker than you."

"Really? That's funny. I could have sworn I always out performed you in strength." Hide said with a grin as he playfully tapped a finger against his chin.

Kaneki rolled his eyes, "that's because I let you win."

"Those be challenging words," Hide said as he walked over to the opposite side of the table. "Arm wrestle to prove my strength is stronger than yours?" Hide asked jokingly as he sat down and placed his arm onto the table.

Kaneki knew he shouldn't because humans are much weaker than ghouls. But he really did want to protect Hide. So Kaneki decided he would only use a small portion of his strength.

Giving Hide a small smile, Kaneki sat on the floor across the blond. "Don't complain when you lose," Kaneki said with confidence.

"Bring it," Hide grinned back as the two clasped their hands together and began to count.

Once they said start, Kaneki gritted his teeth as his arm was forced towards the table.

"How can someone who just got out of the hospital be this strong?" Hide asked with a strained pout as Kaneki forcefully regained their starting positions with his full power. Winking at Kaneki, Hide smiled brightly as he once again forced Kaneki's arm towards the table. A loud thud sounded as Kaneki's arm had hit the table, signaling his loss; "not that it matters since I still won," Hide blew a kiss towards Kaneki as he made a peace sign.

Kaneki just sat dazed as he gazed at Hide in wonder.

"Kaneki? Ka-ne-ki? Is anyone there?" Hide asked worriedly as waved hand in front of Kaneki's face. "I'm going to leave now. I'll be back before dark," Hide huffed as he sat up and walked over to Kaneki. "Make sure you eat your burgers before I get back!" Hide cheered before ruffling Kaneki's hair and leaving the apartment with a skip in his step.

Kaneki's kept on staring at the wall in wonderment as he contemplated his strength.

"Does this mean Hide is stronger than me?" Kaneki wondered out loud before flexing his arm. Gazing hard at his skinny arm, Kaneki frowned in thought before an unpleasant smell reached his nose.

Kaneki gazed dejectedly at the source of the smell before sighing.

Reaching forward towards the food, Kaneki pondered the possibility of still being human. If he was still human then of course Hide would win the arm wrestling match. Maybe the reason for such disgusting reaction towards the fish was merely because hospital foods really do taste disgusting. Kaneki didn't remember the taste of hospital food but he was sure that it tasted horrible to humans as well.

Gulping loudly, Kaneki unwrapped the burger and flinched as his nose was filled with stench. Wincing as he brought the burger to his mouth, Kaneki inhaled and exhaled deeply for a moment before taking a huge bite out of his burger and swallowing it.

Shuddering, Kaneki forced himself to take another bite as he made up excuses in his mind on why the food would taste bad. Giving up on his delusions, Kaneki placed the burger down before running to the bathroom.

He was a ghoul. There is no other explanation to why the food would make him feel this way. Sighing deeply to himself, Kaneki couldn't stop the tears from leaving his eyes. Gently banging his head against the toilet seat, Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he thought of what to do.

Opening his eyes, Kaneki gritted his teeth as he thought about his loss to Hide. "How did he win?" Kaneki mumbled. Standing up, Kaneki looked into a nearby mirror and flexed his arm. Noting the lack of defined muscles, Kaneki hissed as his stomach started to pinch in pain.

"I am a half ghoul," Kaneki whispered to his reflection "I need to protect Hide." After he said that to his reflection, Kaneki frowned in thought while bring his arm up to the mirror to flex. "I need to work out but I am still ghoul," Kaneki scrunched up his nose, "no matter how weak I am, I still should be stronger than a human." Kaneki nodded his head as he stopped flexing.

So how was Hide able to beat him, a half-ghoul?

* * *

**A/N:**

**For those of you who want the answers or the next chapter immediately I refer you to my AO3 account and the Fourth chapter with some answers posted there. Also a reminder: same story title but with my pen name as Cookie2rookie. Other than that, enjoy the cliff hanger~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Waking up**

**Note: Takes place after TG root A ending.**

* * *

_Opening his eyes, Kaneki gritted his teeth as he thought about his loss to Hide. "How did he win?" Kaneki mumbled. Standing up, Kaneki looked into a nearby mirror and flexed his arm. Noting the lack of defined muscles, Kaneki hissed as his stomach started to pinch in pain._

_"I am a half ghoul," Kaneki whispered to his reflection "I need to protect Hide." After he said that to his reflection, Kaneki frowned in thought while bring his arm up to the mirror to flex. "I need to work out but I am still ghoul," Kaneki scrunched up his nose, "no matter how weak I am, I still should be stronger than a human." Kaneki nodded his head as he stopped flexing._

_So how was Hide able to beat him, a half-ghoul?_

/

It didn't make sense to Kaneki. Why was Hide, a human, able to win the arm wrestling match? It didn't make sense at all. Sure Kaneki had just got out of the hospital early; well, way earlier than it was the first time. Four days to be exact. Four days since the date with Rize. Four days since his life as a human was forfeited. And sure, in the original time frame it took him about a week or so to even wake up but still. Half-ghouls are stronger than humans.

Walking towards the table with fresh –was it fresh? Kaneki couldn't even remember how long burgers lasted before going bad- burgers on it, stopping next to the table, Kaneki grimaced at the smell of human food.

Glaring at the food, Kaneki wondered if Hide would notice if Kaneki threw it into the trash.

Sighing to himself, Kaneki picked the food up before making his way to the fridge. Opening the door slowly, Kaneki scrunched his nose up as he was met with a displeasing smell. Shoving the bag of food into the fridge, Kaneki frowned as he caught the scent of something pleasant. Sniffing the air –Kaneki swore he heard Hide commenting about him resembling a dog- Kaneki started to pull out various items in the fridge in search of the smell.

Grinning to himself, Kaneki pulled out a large unopened container of Gatorade that belonged to Hide and was left behind by the blond in one of his many study sessions hosted in Kaneki's apartment. Twisting the top off with ease, Kaneki took a hesitant sip for taste purpose before chugging the drink down in a few long and eager gulps.

"Sorry!" Hide's loud and cheerful voice rang out as the front door was opened harshly, "forgot my keys!" Hide shouted again as he ran into the kitchen.

Kaneki stood frozen with a nearly empty Gatorade bottle in his hand poised as if he had just drank from it. Well, he did but the bottle was an unopened bottle that was still full to the brim when Hide left.

Stopping and staring at Kaneki with wide eyes, Hide gaped before he commented on the scene before him; "I told you that one more night at the hospital was good for you or at least I should've." Wiping the stunned expression from his face, Hide closed his eyes with a grin as his hands rested on his hips before continuing with his thought, "IVs are good for giving the body liquids and nutrients. Sure, Gatorade provides some of the same thing bu-"

"I'm not going back to the hospital," Kaneki interrupted, mind already guessing on what Hide would say next.

"What? Why not? I'm pretty sure that a hospital could do more good than bad right now!" Hide yelled as he made to grip Kaneki's wrist. "You just got released! The doctor said you wouldn't wake up until a week or two passed! That's it, you need to go back. You obviously aren't feeling fine right now," Hide hissed as he started to tug at Kaneki's wrist.

Kaneki's eyes widen at the thought of being near Kanou with a vulnerable Hide.

"No," Kaneki said in horror at the mental image, "I won't let that happen." Pulling against Hide's grip, Kaneki yanked the blonde into his arms before hugging Hide tightly.

Hide wiggled from within Kaneki's arms. Gasping slightly, Hide brought his hands up to Kaneki's shoulders and pushed slightly in an attempt to dislodge Kaneki's tight hug. "Dude, you need to-"

"Shut up," Kaneki growled as he burrowed his face in the crook of Hide's neck.

Hide squirmed some more as he started to strain as he placed more strength in trying to push Kaneki's arms away. "Loosen you grip," Hide muttered breathlessly, "too tight it hurts!" Hide yelled only for it to come out like a faint whisper.

"Sorry," Kaneki said as he immediately loosened his grip around Hide. Grabbing Hide's shoulders, Kaneki grimaced as the blond breathed deeply in relief. "Are you okay?" Kaneki worriedly asked the red faced Hide.

Hide closed his eyes as he leaned against the kitchen counter. "y-yeah just give me a moment," Hide panted.

Kaneki bit his lip and looked down at his feet in guilt and confusion. Why was Hide able to beat him at an arm wrestling match earlier yet couldn't escape from Kaneki's arms no matter how hard the blond tried? Kaneki remembered the pressure Hide's hands placed on his shoulders and how the pressure grew but still remained inadequate to push Kaneki away. Was Hide hesitant on using his full strength against Kaneki? No, that couldn't be it; Hide had used everything he had to try pushing Kaneki away. So why? Why was Kaneki suddenly able to overpower Hide? Was it a fluke that Hide won? But that would still make no sense.

"Hide," Kaneki spoke suddenly as he lifted his gaze from to floor to Hide. "I'll go back to the hospital if you beat me in an arm wrestling match," Kaneki bargained with a determined expression.

Hide squinted at Kaneki in a mixture of confusion and disbelief, "really? Because I distinctively remember beating you in a match just moments ago. Do you honestly think you can win now?"

"No harm in trying," Kaneki smiled as he closed the fridge's door, "so are we playing or not? If you refuse I'll take that as you admitting defeat."

Hide snorted, "I'm not that easy to provoke but I'll take your wager. You've never been able to beat me before at arm wrestling. So when I win you have to go back to the hospital and if you win you get?" Hide left the last part of his sentence open ended for Kaneki to fill.

"I get to accompany you to your apartment," Kaneki smiled smugly, feeling more confident that the earlier arm wrestling match outcome wouldn't be repeated.

Hide smirked at Kaneki as he walked into the living before he rested his arm on the table. "Well, bring it," Hide shook his hand at Kaneki as if to provoke and mock the other, "maybe this time I'll work up a sweat."

"It's not going to go the same way as before," Kaneki said with a small upturn quirk of his lips, "on three." Kaneki placed his arm the table before interlocking his hand with Hide's.

The two counted together before a loud thud followed by a sharp yelp from Hide.

"Hide!" Kaneki shouted in worry as Hide shook his hand as if shaking off the pain caused by the immediate forceful slam of his hand into the hardwood; "I'm so sorry! Do you need ice?! Is it broken?! I can call for an emergency truck!"

Hide hissed slightly as he stopped shaking his hand to cradle it close to his chest. "It's not broken I think," Hide winced as he felt his hand up, "nope, no bones broken or fractured. It's just really bruised or at least it will be tomorrow morning."

"Do you need ice?!" Kaneki repeated his question, hysteria starting to settle in his chest at the thought of causing Hide pain. Dropping to his knees next to Hide, Kaneki's hands hovered over the blonde's personal space in hesitation.

Hide laughed slightly before giving Kaneki one of the prettiest smile Kaneki that had ever seen –except Kaneki thinks all of Hide's smiles are beautiful and pretty- since he became a half-ghoul.

Swallowing, Kaneki's eyes zoned in of the blonde's face –specifically Hide's lips- and only realized that Hide must had been saying something for his lips were moving even if Kaneki heard no sound.

"I'm so sorry," Kaneki spoke suddenly after he licked his lips and looked at Hide's eyes "please repeat what you said. I wasn't paying attention."

Hide pouted dramatically at Kaneki, "I was asking if you were holding back the first time."

"I- uh no, I wasn't holding back in the first match or this one," Kaneki winced at the thought of what he just did to Hide. He thought since Hide had beat him –a half-ghoul- before that the blond would be able to hold his own but apparently not. Which brought many questions of why. Why was it that Kaneki had lost the first game but won this time? Why? Was it because Hide was tired? "Actually, I have a question: why was I able to beat you now?"

Hide tilted his head in thought as he moved his injured hand –palm up- onto the surface of the cool table. "Hmmm, I wonder that too but I think I have a hypothesis," he closed his eyes as he nodded to himself as if confirming what he just said.

"Care to share with the rest of the class?" Kaneki said with a sarcastic smirk.

Hide huffed, "you drank all my Gatorade" he stated that as if it was obvious to what it meant.

"Sorry about that, I promise I'll by you some more. But your hypothesis?" because while it may have sounded like Hide had only a hypothesis to outsiders, Kaneki knew better. If Hide used the word hypothesis in relation to people it meant that Hide was nearly sure that his so called "hypothesis" was something actually backed up with other evidence that pointed toward the same thing.

Hide sighed as he shook his head with his eyes now opened, "I said you drank all my Gatorade."

"Something tells me that this means something that I'm not catching up on. I only know that Gatorade has electrolytes and that electrolytes are good for the body," Kaneki stated with a tiny smile.

Hide smiled brightly, "and?" he prompted.

"And what? There's a reason as to why I'm a lit major not a science major," Kaneki retorted

Hide shrugged, "fair point; basically, electrolytes are minerals like sodium, chloride, bicarbonate, calcium potassium, magnesium, phosphate and calcium. They are vital for your health, your kidneys need them in order to filter your body. As what you know already, the kidneys help maintain the proper volume of body fluids. Electrolytes also make your muscles and nerves work. The electrolytes provided by Gatorade are taken up by the body pretty quickly when compared to water. Also, Gatorade has a lot of sugar that is needed for your small intestines. You still with me, Kaneki?"

"Yeah," Kaneki nodded his head slightly, "so my reason for drinking Gatorade was because it smelt like something that I could actually stomach and that would help heal me." He smiled bashful at Hide before widening his eyes and immediately looking down to the floor. Kaneki didn't mean to word his sentence like that, he made it sound like he was a ghoul. Which he was but the Hide of this time didn't know that yet.

Frowning to himself and biting his bottom lip rather viciously, Kaneki tried to ignore Hide's analyzing look that bore upon him. Why did he have to word it like that? Like he was a ghoul?! Hide would know or at least start having a suspicion of what Kaneki was now.

Which is exactly what Kaneki needed to start Hide onto the path of knowing without Kaneki seeming suspicious by knowing what happened immediately after he was out of the hospital.

"Kaneki," Hide's tone was that of worry, "stop biting you lip, please. It's starting to bleed onto your shirt and the floor."

Kaneki frowned down at the floor in confusion before noticing the small puddle of blood on the wood. Gasping, Kaneki licked his lips noting the taste of his own blood before quickly looking up at Hide.

"W-wha?" Hide asked breathlessly with wide eyes as he stared at Kaneki in shock.

Kaneki brought a finger to his lips, wondering if blood was everywhere and if that was the reason for Hide's shock. Inspecting his finger Kaneki briefly noted that amount of blood there before casting Hide a questioning look. "What is it Hide?" Kaneki asked the dumbfounded Hide.

"Your eye," Hide said as he brought his hand up to touch the side that Kaneki knew that held his kakugan.

Feeling dread curl up in his stomach, Kaneki ran into the bathroom –slamming the door shut after him- to look at his reflection in the mirror. Starring back at Kaneki was his regular human eye and the foreboding eye known only to appear on ghouls.

"Kaneki?! Kaneki! Open this door, let's talk this out! I'm here for you! We can do this together!" Hide screamed as he pounded on the bathroom door, "don't do anything drastic! I'll help you with this!" at this Hide sounded particularly broken and desperate.

Kaneki felt tears start to burn their way out of his eyes, his kakugan coloring the tears of his one eye to the color of fresh blood. Kaneki thought he was ready for this, ready for this Hide without scars or emotional and physical exhaustion to know about Kaneki's transformation; he was wrong, he was not ready for this. It hurt in ways that Kaneki had forgotten about. He was wrong and for some reason Kaneki believed that the pain he felt now hurt more than the first time.

Partially because unlike the first time when Touka and the others never gave Kaneki the chance to actually mourn over his loss of everything –the bright future he could've had- they forced him to change in ways Kaneki never wanted too. They made him give up his humanity for what? Becoming a ghoul isn't the only thing that ruined his life, it was the choices that he was given that made him miserable. Either Hide stayed friends with him and is killed or Hide is left alive but is not in contact with him.

Why couldn't they allow him to make his own choice? Like Nishio? Nishio was happy and with a human that knew what he was, so why couldn't Kaneki have that with Hide? Did they think that because it hadn't happened to them that it would never happen to Kaneki? Kaneki could had been happy with life as a ghoul if he was left in charge of his own relationships without death threats hanging over Hide's head.

Because when he's with Hide and not the others, Kaneki doesn't feel guilty; no, he feels like he was finally home. Whereas when he was with the others, his smile never reached his eyes, his eyes never sparkled, and he never felt like he was home. No, with them, it felt like he was wearing a mask all the time to suit the image they placed upon him. Kaneki was tired of listening to them say what should or shouldn't happen in his life. Hide was the one who deserved any say in Kaneki's life.

Hide always would and Kaneki had to admit that if he was forced to choose between the ghouls he had come to befriend and Hide, Hide would always win. Because Hide was there from the beginning and would not leave Kaneki no matter where it may had taken the human.

Even now after seeing Kaneki's kakugan, Hide was outside the bathroom door crying the tears that Kaneki was never given the chance to shed.

"Kaneki" Hide choked out, voice filled with tears, "please, please open the door. You're not alone, you have me. You have me, you're not alone. We can work this out together. I'm not leaving you no matter what, so please. Please open the door."

Kaneki glared back at his reflection -the reflection that reminded him of everything that went wrong the first time around- before walking over to the door and throwing it open to see Hide's tear stricken face.

Pulling Hide into his arms, Kaneki held on tightly as he buried his head into the crook of Hide's neck. "I don't want to be alone," he admitted, because the way to fixing everything with Hide was to be truthful for both their sakes.

"I promise to never leave you alone," Hide promised with a shaky tear stained smile and Kaneki felt a violent storm of butterflies inside his stomach at Hide's smile and promise.

Giving Hide a huge grin that even reflected in his eyes –Kaneki thought he had forgotten how to smile so brightly after he stopped interacting with Hide- before moving to rest his and Hide's foreheads together. "And I promise that I won't leave you alone either," the smile Kaneki got for that was so beautiful.

And of course Kaneki would get the most beautiful smile for that promise. Hide hated being alone, always had and probably always will. There was a reason to why Hide's catchphrase includes rabbits and dying from loneliness.

Kaneki moved his head into the crook of Hide's neck again. Inhaling deeply, Kaneki's eyes fluttered closed at the smell of home and Hide before whispering so that only he and Hide's neck would know about the additional private promise "I promise I will never leave you." His arms tightened around Hide in a manner that was entirely possessive, "I will never let you go" Kaneki smiled faintly, "I will protect you even I have to kill everyone else, you'll never be in danger. I won't allow it."

"Kaneki?" Hide asked hesitantly, "what did you just say?"

Kaneki smiled softly as he removed his head from Hide's neck, "nothing."

"Hmmm," Hide hummed as he casted a thoughtful look at Kaneki, "that's fine, are we still going to my apartment?"

Kaneki slowly stood up, not letting Hide go as the two clumsily shuffled around one another. "Of course."

* * *

**A/N:**

**As usual, not edited. **

**The next chapter for this story is already on archiveofourown. **

**Hide did hear Kaneki, he just chose to pretend he didn't. Its in Hide's character to wait for Kaneki to be ready to talk.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Waking up**

_**Note: Forgot that FF has a different set up compared to AO3 so here is me telling you guys that the end game for this story will be KaneHide/HideKane along with canon couple Nishio/Kimi**_

* * *

Previously

"_Kaneki?" Hide asked hesitantly, "what did you just say?"_

_Kaneki smiled softly as he removed his head from Hide's neck, "nothing."_

"_Hmmm," Hide hummed as he casted a thoughtful look at Kaneki, "that's fine, are we still going to my apartment?"_

_Kaneki slowly stood up, not letting Hide go as the two clumsily shuffled around one another. "Of course."_

* * *

The trip to Hide's apartment was uneventful. The trip back to Kaneki's apartment was starting to look just as uneventful. Except for one thing.

"Are you planning on letting me go, yet?" Hide asked after three blocks of walking back from his apartment with Kaneki.

Kaneki gritted his teeth as he tightened his grip around Hide's waist. The two continued their awkward shuffle down the street. "No," Kaneki said bluntly.

"Okay," Hide released a heavy sigh at Kaneki's response. "Can I at least convince you to let me go so we can walk normally?" Hide asked as he nearly tripped over another crack in the cement.

Kaneki hummed as if he hadn't heard Hide's question.

Hide blew air out of his mouth in frustration. "Kaneki?" Hide whined as Kaneki tightened his grip once more.

"Haven't we learned about safety in numbers?" Kaneki grinned at Hide.

Hide rolled his eyes as he pouted at Kaneki, "I'm pretty sure that only applies to children and girls."

"Still not letting go," Kaneki said, sticking his tongue out at the end for added effect.

"Fine," Hide responded as he rolled his head to the side as they walked past an alley. Stopping suddenly, Hide tilted his head towards the alley, "hey. Let's take a turn here!" Hide chirped and Kaneki's face began to go pale.

"What?!" Kaneki removed his arm around Hide's waist as he looked at Hide in disbelief. "No, that's an alleyway, why would you even think about going there?" Kaneki asked as his arm circled around Hide's waist once again.

Hide pouted as he nudged Kaneki with his shoulder. "It's a shortcut," Hide stated.

"And?" Kaneki asked with a desperate and fearful tone.

Hide bit his lip before he grinned at Kaneki. "I could've sworn that you were fussing over how it is too dangerous for a weak, fragile human to be out after dark," Hide said as he briefly looked up at the dark orange sky.

Kaneki followed Hide's gaze with determination. Eyes widening briefly at the setting sun, Kaneki gritted his teeth before he glared at Hide.

Hide blew hot air up to his bangs. "And it will get us back sooner as compared to the way we went coming here," Hide pointed out as more people started to walk the streets.

"It _is_ dangerous," Kaneki stated as he tugged gently at Hide's jacket.

Rolling his eyes, Hide shifted so he was standing closer to Kaneki before whispering into Kaneki's ear. "It's a shortcut that might have a dead body."

"Hide?!" Kaneki croaked out loudly in surprise before being hushed at by Hide.

Hide aggressively stepped on Kaneki's foot causing both of them to wince. "Please Kaneki," Hide whispered pleadingly. "I can't help you with everything now and that scares me. I want to help you. I want to be of use to you. Please let me help. We agreed that we would figure out what our next move would be. Let me help you," Hide let his eyes water slightly for effect.

Kaneki let go of Hide's waist as his hands moved to Hide's arms. Stuttering, Kaneki tried to find the words to comfort Hide as his hands fluttered between holding Hide's waist or arms: "I-b-Hide-"

"Please Kaneki," Hide tilted his head. "You don't have to walk with me if going down the alley makes you uncomfortable but at least let me do this for you," Hide begged with a slight hop as he shifted his weight once more.

Inhaling deeply Kaneki stared at Hide steadily, "no."

"W-what?" Hide jolted as Kaneki's fluttering hands became more firm as they lightly gripped Hide's arm.

Kaneki shifted closer to Hide, "I won't let you."

"Kaneki!" Hide shouted in disbelief.

The hands gripping Hide's arms tightened. "I promised to never let you get hurt."

"Kaneki?" Hide's tone was hesitant.

Kaneki pressed his forehead against Hide's shoulder. "Don't go," Kaneki pleaded in a small voice, "don't go to places I can't follow."

"What are you talking about?" Hide inquired in an equally small voice.

Kaneki lifted his head to stare closely into Hide's eyes. "Don't go! I–I," Kaneki's eyes became glossy as his hands gripping Hide's arms became more painful.

"You're hurting me," Hide said as the pressure on his arms got stronger.

Kaneki made no sign of listening as he kept on repeating the same phrase of don't go over and over.

Biting his lip, Hide inhaled deeply before head-butting Kaneki viciously.

"Fuuccccckkkkk," the two whined together.

"Hide!" Kaneki hissed loudly as he rubbed his forehead tenderly. It didn't hurt much as Hide's probably did. For Hide was still cursing as he made a pinched expression while clutching Kaneki's homework tightly to his chest while crouched down. "I-I-I'm sorry" Kaneki said as he hovered over Hide's crouched form.

"No," Hide said as he looked up from his position to give Kaneki a pained smile. "I'm sorry that I implied for you not to walk me down the alley. It was stupid and senseless of me."

Kaneki bit his lip in thought, "Hide?"

"So, be my bodyguard as we walk down this not really dark alleyway," Hide said quickly as he stood up with a large grin on his face.

"Sure," Kaneki agreed immediately as he watched Hide's movements. It took a few seconds for what Hide had said to register in his mind. "Hide!" Kaneki shouted as Hide started to walk into the alleyway.

Hide stopped to turn around and stuck his tongue out at Kaneki. "To late~" Hide hummed cheerfully. "You already agreed!"

And with that, Hide walked into the alley with Kaneki following behind. Turned out that Hide's 'shortcut' was a labyrinth of short alleys intersecting with one another at the most random and unexpected places. Soon Kaneki wasn't able to hear the sounds of traffic from the road as the two walked deeper and deeper into the maze-like alleys. In the area where faint sounds of car horns were heard, Kaneki and Hide found a dead human body and the ghoul that was feeding from it.

Feeling himself freeze up, Kaneki couldn't take his eyes away from the body in front of him. Inhaling deeply, Kaneki gritted his teeth and clenched his hands as the smell of human flesh gripped his senses.

"Kaneki?" Hide whispered softly as he gently bumped his shoulder against Kaneki's. "Let's go, we'll find a different body."

Blinking at the warmth that hit his shoulder, Kaneki turned his head so he could meet Hide's eyes. "Yeah," Kaneki answered hoarsely as he made to leave.

Multiple loud thuds were heard as Hide shoved himself and Kaneki to the side.

"A ghoul and a human," the ghoul they walked in on said with a smirk on its face as it stood in the spot Kaneki and Hide were standing in.

Hide hissed as he sat up slowly. "We won't tell anyone, so let us leave in peace, please." Hide pleaded with the ghoul.

Kaneki stood up slowly as the ghoul responded in a dark deep voice, "nah, just means I'm gonna binge some more."

Kaneki growled as he placed himself in front of Hide. "That's not happening," Kaneki stated and the ghoul raised an eyebrow.

"Funny," it stated with a smirk. "Tryin' to protect the pretty thin' behind ya?" it asked sarcastically in a drunk like tone. Turning to face the body, the ghoul laughed, "or were ya tryin' to lead the pretty back to eat it?" The ghoul faced the duo again. Stepping back, the ghoul crouched before it jumped into the air. The ghoul barked as it slammed its foot onto Kaneki's forearms.

Hissing at the loud crack from his arms, Kaneki brought a leg up to kick the ghoul.

"Slow!" The ghoul howled in amusement before jumping out of the way of the kick so that it could launch a punch to Kaneki's gut.

The hit landed and Kaneki gasped loudly as blood dripped from his mouth.

"Leave him alone!" Hide yelled and the ghoul was forced to retreat quickly as a foot lodged itself toughly into the ghoul's side.

The ghoul slowly stood with a hand cradling its hips as it stared at Hide in amazement. "Wow-zers," the ghoul said in a dazed tone. "Flower have thorns," it commented with a leer. Removing its hand from its side the ghoul crooned at Hide, "ya look so pretty an' sexy with that look." It moaned with a heated look and Kaneki moved himself in front of Hide. The ghoul shifted its pants with a smile on its face. "Don' look like that," it commented while nodding towards Hide. "Ya make me hornyy," it smirked before it hiccupped and Kaneki didn't need to turn around to see Hide stiffen from the ghoul's lewd comments.

Kaneki gritted his teeth before launching a kick towards the ghoul's stomach.

The ghoul didn't bother to dodge the kick as it hit its mark.

Humming in thought, the ghoul tossed Kaneki to the side. "Smell like a ghoul but are ya one?" It mocked as it hopped on the back of it heels. "Ya weak if ya are; so, so weak."

Kaneki gritted his teeth in frustration as he thought of Hide standing a few feet away from the ghoul. He needed to kill this monster across from him. Kill not defeat; for the twisted expression on the ghoul's face told Kaneki that if left alive, it would forever go after Hide and him.

Watching as it's gaze turned to Hide once again, Kaneki growled deeply as the ghoul licked its lips before its heated gaze became a heated leer.

"Ya really a preetty little thing," it slurred as if the ghoul and Hide were the only things in the area. "After this weaklin' is done, promise to play with ya." It leered some more as if it was undressing Hide with it's eyes.

At that moment, Kaneki was filled with a chill as he finally understood what the ghoul meant by 'playing' with Hide. It was disgusting. The entire notion of playing with human lives or torturing them for fun sickened Kaneki greatly. It was unjust, no real reason behind it; and it made Kaneki angry.

Angry at the world. Angry at ghouls. Angry at Kanou. And most importantly, angry at himself. While he never tortured anyone for fun or to pass time, he was disgusted that in the original time line, he thought that allying with someone who lured innocents in with friendship and made entertainment of said innocents trying to save their lives funny. Tsukiyama-san lured and made entertainment out of tormenting humans because he could. It disgusted Kaneki then and it still did. Food source or not, sometimes, that man's image overlapped with Rize's, for both were manipulated and cruel.

But, Kaneki would always hate Kanou more than anything. Or at least he thought he did until right across from him stood a ghoul that was sizing Hide up as if the blond was an animal. That taking the life of someone as bright as Hide was nothing but mere fun.

Kaneki couldn't even name what he was feeling. Hatred sounded so small as compared to the bubbling emotion he felt crawling his skin.

"He's not weak," Hide said suddenly snapping Kaneki out of his inner thoughts.

Glancing somewhat behind him, Kaneki eyes widened as he caught the determined look in Hide's eyes.

The ghoul started to laugh loudly and mockingly. "Preeeetty," it called with its deep voice. "He's weak," The ghoul opened it's arms wide as if welcoming a hug, "weak!" Thrusting its hips upward, in a motion normally only seen in one's bedroom, the ghoul laughed again as it closed its eyes, "prove it then play time." It's voice still had a drunk like quality to it as the pronunciation was sharp and quick.

Kaneki felt like throwing up at the image in his brain. He wouldn't, couldn't allow this creature in front of him to keep degrading Hide as if he was something to be used in that manner. No one had the right to think or even look at Hide in the manner.

Inhaling deeply, Kaneki narrowed his eyes at the relaxed figure of the ghoul. Exhaling the breath he had started to hold, Kaneki heard his clothing rip as Hide quietly gasped.

The ghoul's eyes opened at the sound. Smirking confidently at Kaneki, the ghoul held out his arms as blood bleed into the air.

Kaneki let his instincts and reflexes take over as the ghoul flew into the air to scatter shards down upon Kaneki.

"I take it back," the ghoul mocked as he dodged the tackle Kaneki aimed at him. "Ya a ghoul but weeeeeeeaaaaakkkkk." The ghoul flew higher into the air only to be slammed into and forced to a stop as a rinkaku wrapped around his ankle. "Damn it," the ghoul hissed in surprise before it was slammed into the ground. Coughing up blood, the ghoul shakily pushed itself off the ground.

Kaneki growled before all four of his rinkaku pierced the ghoul. Repeatedly tossing and piercing the body, Kaneki smirked.

"Kaneki," Hide whispered from where he was standing.

Kaneki tilted his head at Hide and grinned.

Hide moved closer to Kaneki and Kaneki groaned as he tossed the body to the side. Mouthwatering excessively, Kaneki grinned as he stepped toward Hide.

Hide didn't move before he gave a bright smile. "Its okay to be hungry," Hide said as he held his hands in the air.

Kaneki made to step forward at the scent of a human only to stop.

"Hide," Kaneki croaked in a daze before he remembered what he was about to do.

Kaneki was about to eat Hide, his best friend since they met. The only person who is guaranteed to always accept him. Ghoul, human, half-ghoul, or some other monster; Hide would always accept him; and Kaneki was going to repay Hide's loyalty by eating him. It wasn't fair and the thought of doing anything like that to Hide made Kaneki sick.

"I'm sorry," Kaneki said before clasping his hands over his mouth.

"Hey," Hide said from his spot near the dead human body, "hunger is okay. Its normal." Hide bent down to grab ahold of the dead human body to drag it over to Kaneki. "Its perfectly fine to be hungry, it's a way your body tells you that you need nutrients. So eat," Hide said as he presented Kaneki with the dead human body.

Kaneki stared at the man that Hide held the wrist of. Would Kaneki be betraying Hide if he ate humans? But he was so hungry, it felt like bugs were crawling and eating away at his insides. He was so hungry. So, so hungry. But Hide. Hide may had felt that Kaneki eating humans was okay but it wasn't to Kaneki. There were so many memories Kaneki had as a human. So many good and bad times that shaped Kaneki into the man he was before becoming a ghoul.

_It wasn't far. To be forced to eat humans for survival. The feeling of eating a human nearly caused as much pain as the hunger did. Why did he have to eat? Kaneki would rather starve than eat a human again. Was there no other option for him? Would he, once again, be forced to eat human flesh?! _

Kaneki didn't pay attention as his mouth continued to water heavily at the sight of the human body. Slowly and cautiously taking the body from Hide, Kaneki stared at the face of his meal. Kaneki blinked rapidly as the face slowly morphed into one he knew and would always know.

"Hide," Kaneki said hoarsely as with each moment the face resembled Hide more and more.

"Kaneki? What's wrong?" Hide asked and Kaneki turned his face away from the corpse.

"_Weak,"_ Kaneki remembered the ghoul from before saying that. Closing his eyes tightly, Kaneki tried to ignore the voice of that ghoul accompanied by Touka's and Rize's all saying the one thing that Kaneki already knew. Kaneki knew he was weak, he had tried to be strong, he wanted to be strong so that he could protect Hide.

It wasn't until an all too familiar and ominous voice sounded in his head that Kaneki tensed.

"_What's 1000 minus 7?" _the voice asked.

Kaneki opened his eyes quickly as he stated the number: "993."

"Kaneki?"

Kaneki turned to face the body of the ghoul he just killed. The hunger increased as he started to walk over to the ghoul.

"Kaneki?" Hide asked again. "Why are you walking over there?"

Kaneki heard only silence as his vision blackened as warm liquid hit the insides of his mouth.

/

When Kaneki awoke, it was with a jolt.

Eyes darting franticly across the room, Kaneki slowly rolled out of the bed in worry. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was the taste of blood as he ripped open the abdomen of the ghoul. Kaneki fleetingly remembered warm blood gushing and spraying everywhere as he ate.

Kaneki briefly remembered Hide standing from afar with a neutral face as the ghoul's blood was sprayed onto the both of them.

Everything after that was blank as Kaneki consumed more and more. Thus the reason why Kaneki was so concerned. He didn't know or remember what happened with Hide. Perhaps the blond ran away or perhaps he stayed in the alley in shock as Kaneki ate. But what worried Kaneki the most was the hole in his memory. Did he attack Hide? Was the blond wounded? Did Kaneki **fail? Did Kaneki kill Hide, his best friend and most important person?!**

Licking his lips, Kaneki winced at the flavor of ghoul's flesh. Perhaps he didn't eat Hide after all but merely injured the blond?

"Hide?" Kaneki called out, voice hoarse from his food induced sleep. Calling for the blond some more Kaneki inhaled deeply; "Hide!" Kaneki yelled only for no response to return.

Flinging his bedroom door opened Kaneki hurled himself out of the room only to trip over a lump on the ground. Catching himself from falling, Kaneki turned to stare at the mass of shivering clothing on the floor that yelped at the impact.

"Hide?" Kaneki called hesitantly as pieces of clothing fell away to reveal Hide. Grabbing Hide's arms Kaneki looked at the brown eyes as they blinked dazedly. "Hide!" Kaneki cried before pulling Hide into a tight hug.

Hide merely yawned as he blinked repeatedly, "yeah, Kaneki?"

"Hide," Kaneki whimpered as he buried his head into Hide's neck. Breathing deeply and ignoring the tears spilling from his eyes, Kaneki whispered Hide's name over and over again.

Hide stopped blinking as he shifted in Kaneki's hug. "Is there a fire?" Hide asked with a yawn.

Kaneki laughed in relief at the question. "No," Kaneki said as he pressed into Hide's warm and alive body. "No, there is no fire," Kaneki laughed in relief as his tears stopped flowing heavily.

Hide hummed in thought. "Are you okay?" Hide asked as he brought his hands up to pat Kaneki on the back.

"You're safe and alive," Kaneki said. Pulling away from the hug, Kaneki kept his head bent as he apologized to Hide in soft whispers.

Hide tilted Kaneki's head up. "I'm fine but I'm more worried about you. You slept for a really long time," Hide smiled vibrantly.

"How long was I asleep for?" Kaneki asked, trying to rid himself of the negative thoughts he had earlier. "Wait. Why were you on the ground, sleeping? You can catch a cold!"

Hide's smile turned into a grin as he pinched Kaneki's cheek before slightly pulling them. Eyebrows bent in concentration, Hide hummed at Kaneki. "I don't really know what you're talking about but I forgive you," Hide said with a smile. "And no longer than four hours."

"Okay," Kaneki muttered. Taking a moment for the information to sink in, Kaneki's eyes widen briefly before he squeezed them shut as he pulled away from Hide's hold on his cheeks. "Why would you do that?" he asked as he rubbed his cheeks.

"You smell," Hide sniffed before standing up and commanding Kaneki to take a shower.

/

When Kaneki exited the shower he found Hide sitting on his couch, with the left over Big Girl burger in his hand as he munched on it while watching a special about ghouls.

"Hide," Kaneki called after ingraining the casual, peaceful picture in his mind.

Hide took another bite out of the burger. "Yeah, man?" Hide responded, not bothering to look up at Kaneki.

"I'm a ghoul, Hide," Kaneki stated bluntly.

Hide turned to look at Kaneki as he munched on another piece. Swallowing what he bit, Hide smiled knowingly at Kaneki, "technically you're a half-ghoul."

"That's beside the point," Kaneki said as he moved to sit on the ground across from Hide. Pulling his legs close to his chest, Kaneki sighed as he wrapped his arms around his legs: "I have the strength of a ghoul now."

Hide glanced at Kaneki. "Yeah, it is weird because before you couldn't even fight your way out of a paper bag." Hide smirked as he shifted to the ground so he and Kaneki were on eye level with each other.

"Hide," Kaneki made a face of disbelief and disappointment at Hide.

Hide laughed before taking another bite out of the burger. Swallowing audibly, Hide grinned at Kaneki; "What? It is true. A granny had more muscles than you."

"I'm not going to respond to that," Kaneki said as he closed his eyes as if asking for patience. "But my point still remains," Kaneki opened his eyes to stare at Hide, "I have the strength of a ghoul. You agree right?"

Hide placed the burger wrapper onto the table between him and Kaneki. Forcing the small remainder in his mouth, Hide held up a hand as he chewed thoughtfully. "Well yeah, you were pretty bad ass fighting off that one ghoul in the alleyway," Hide said after swallowing.

"You agree," Kaneki smiled slightly before frowning. "So how were you able to beat me at arm wrestling?"

Hide pouted at Kaneki, "I already said that you got stronger because your body needed more electrolytes. Without it your muscles couldn't function properly." Hide sighed deeply before he gained an inquisitive expression on his face, "Speaking of that, how did the Gatorade taste to you?

"It tasted horrible and okay at the same time," Kaneki stated immediately before shifting his sitting position so that it mirrored Hide's relaxed one. "I don't mean why I lost. I know why but I want to know how you won," Kaneki said with a curious tone as he grimaced at Hide.

Hide frowned at Kaneki, "its kind of obvious on how I won."

"No matter how weak or starved a ghoul is, they're still stronger than humans. Electrolytes or not," Kaneki stated blandly as he crossed his arms and tilted his head.

"The-"

"CCG not counting (1)," Kaneki said immediately, cutting off Hide as he anticipated what the blond was going to say. "I met your parents and I'm pretty sure that you are absolutely not related to the Washus."

Hide pouted, "I totally could be related to them."

"Nice try but I remember beating you three different times at a school race," Kaneki said as he sighed.

Hide stuck his tongue out at Kaneki, "I was just making it easy for you to not be last."

"You said that to me for those three times and guess what?" Kaneki waved his hand at Hide. "I still don't believe it."

Crossing his arms, Hide scowled. "I don't see why not," Hide muttered under his breath.

"Its probably because you couldn't even say the sentence without puking because you tried to run as fast as the me," Kaneki gave a fond smile as he remembered the scene.

Hide grimaced at the memory, "way to break a guy's dream. And by break, I mean destroy." Hide laid his head down against the table, "because you came as the second last place."

"With you as the king of last place for three years straight," Kaneki stated with a small smile before he frowned. "But back to the point, how did you beat me –a ghoul- at an arm wrestling match."

Hide opened his mouth only to have Kaneki's hand clasp over it.

"And before you even say it, I wasn't taking it easy against you and electrolytes only partially explain my loss," Kaneki continued to say before he removed his hands from Hide's mouth.

Hide sat up from his slouch over the table to look at Kaneki, "Its probably because I'm not fully human by technicality."

Kaneki blinked slowly before he started to sputter. "W-w-wha-what?!" Kaneki shouted in alarm. Going by the look on Hide's face, Kaneki knew that the blond wasn't joking.

Hide tilted his head at Kaneki in amusement, "My great grandpa was a ghoul. (2)"

Kaneki squinted at Hide in thought before he inhaled deeply to see if Hide's smell was different from humans. Winding up with nothing but the smell of home and safety, Kaneki bit his lips in thought.

Hide snickered as he watched Kaneki and his supposedly subtle sniff to see if Hide told the truth. "Okaaay, from the beginning then," Hide closed his eyes briefly. Taking a deep breath, Hide held up a finger in the air, "My great grandpa was a full blooded ghoul." Hide brought up another finger "he met my great grandma –a human- and by various events he fell in love with her." Hide paused before bringing up his third finger, "they married and had one child."

Kaneki inhaled deeply as Hide continued to talk.

"That child was my grandpa so he was born as a half-ghoul. Kind of like you but he was natural while you're more like-" Hide grimaced as he made a vague hand gesture that encompassed Kaneki and what was done to him. "But back onto point, my grandpa also fell in love with a human. After a long courting period, grandma and grandpa married and then they had my dad."

Kaneki bit his lip in thought. Did Hide's dad have to eat human flesh as well? Did that mean Hide grew up in a household where his parent ate and killed humans? But Kaneki knew Hide's dad. The man with the light brown hair peppered with salt. Hide's father had a sweet tooth and always talked about certain restaurants' cake. Hide's dad even made Kaneki a birthday cake once. It didn't make sense to Kaneki.

Hide flicked Kaneki on the nose to bring Kaneki back to the conversation.

"Now, people would assume that being one-third ghoul would give no ghoul like strength, which would be right and wrong," Hide grinned. "Dad does have a kakugan, but his kakugan is like a washed down version of a ghoul's kakugan," Hide said, "it's a grey color and the red is really faded." Hide crossed his arms as he nodded his head, "so basically he's like normal human with extra strength and senses that come with a really weird looking eye."

Hide shrugged, "but that isn't anything to write home about because if a human worked out regularly then they could beat my dad up if they wanted to." Hide frowned, "I guess I still have some ghoul genes in my body but only a little if you really wanted to be specific." Hide brought his hand that he was still holing up, down.

Kaneki was silent as he squinted in thought at Hide.

"Kaneki?" Hide asked hesitantly as Kaneki sat still. "I didn't break you, right?" Hide asked with a strained smile.

Kaneki closed his eyes as he licked his lips in thought, "Hide?"

"Yeah?" Hide responded with a bright grin.

Looking beseechingly at Hide, Kaneki bit his lips, "I never knew this."

"Well, you never asked," Hide stated as if Kaneki was purposely being difficult.

Tensing his body, Kaneki became alarmed at what Hide just said. "Hide! Are you implying that you would tell anyone about this if they asked?!"

"Of course not! I'd only tell you!" Hide responded harshly. "You're my best friend. We've always been together since we meet. That means a lot to me."

Kaneki winced at Hide's admittance of that. What kind of friend was Kaneki when he avoided Hide to "protect" the blond? While Kaneki was away with the ghouls having a somewhat okay time Hide slaved away just to find him. What kind of person did that make him? Hide died with a smile in his arms! Hide gave his life away just so that he could see Kaneki again. So that he could see Kaneki smile like he used to. So that Kaneki would come back home. So that Kaneki would know that Hide knew and didn't see him as a monster.

Hide did so much for him and what did Kaneki do to repay that loyalty and unconditional faith and love? Kaneki made Hide suffer. He should have known better. Even as children, Hide admitted that his greatest fear was of being left alone and forgotten. Hide felt pain as Kaneki was satisfied. Hide even admitted that in the original timeline when he talked about Kaneki and the Anteiku workers. Hide even said that he felt alone.

The worst part was that Hide died with the most beautiful smile on his lips. Hide was happy to see Kaneki even as he bleed to death. He was so beautiful in that moment and Kaneki felt so guilty. Guilty for making Hide's biggest fears come true. Guilty for leaving Hide. Guilty for making Hide so desperate. Guilty for putting Hide in danger. Guilty for Hide dying to in an attempt at just seeing Kaneki. Kaneki was horrible, disgusting, and filthy for making Hide go so far.

Kaneki left Hide alone and Hide joined the CCG just so that he could have leads on where Kaneki would be. Kaneki was wrong. So, so, so sososososo wrong. Protect Hide by leaving him? More like Hide dying if Kaneki left. Kaneki didn't want Hide to die! Kaneki didn't want to become a ghoul! He didn't want to be this way! Why!? Why did this have to happen to him!?

"Kaneki? Are you okay?" Hide asked in a worried tone as he reached across the table to hold one of Kaneki's hands. Squeezing the hand he held tightly, Hide turned the hand over as he thought. "You look depressed," Hide said quietly before tightening his grip on Hide's hand. "I don't like that look on you," Hide admitted.

Kaneki squeezed Hide's hand back. "I don't want to see you hurt," Kaneki softly spoke as he bent his head, unwilling to let Hide see his tears of frustration.

"Ka-"

Adjusting his grip, Kaneki looked up into Hide's eyes. "I've decided that the best way to protect you is to be with you always," Kaneki stated in a firm voice as he tugged at Hide's hand.

Hide frowned lightly as he worried his bottom lip in thought, "were you planning on leaving?" Hide's voice wavered as his pitched lowered in volume.

"I-" Kaneki gulped and closed his eyes briefly before opening them up to reveal his one kakugan and normal eye "-for a moment I thought about it" Kaneki admitted. "But then I realized that you would always follow and try to bring me back home. Even if I was somewhere dangerous for even ghouls, you –a human- would follow me no matter what. Leaving you would put you in more danger than staying with you would."

Hide pouted with a squint, "your self-sacrificing attitude is showing but you are correct. I would follow you even if it means my death."

"I know," Kaneki admits reluctantly as his memories of Hide dying was brought back again.

Hide was so beautiful at the time and the smile he gave just hurt Kaneki nearly as much as the blond dying in his arms did. Partially because that one smile of Hide's will forever be ingrained in Kaneki's mind as Hide's death bed smile. Just thinking back onto that scene made Kaneki's blood boil. It also spiked an emotion Kaneki hadn't felt since he was younger. Possessiveness and hopelessness. Hide wasn't allowed to die or leave. Perhaps that's why Kaneki always left before he could risk injury. Kaneki smiled faintly as Hide sat patiently, waiting for Kaneki to finish his sentence.

"That's why-" Kaneki brought his other hand up to tug at Hide's hair. "I'm never letting you go."

Hide smiles brightly and for a moment Kaneki felt his breath catch again, "I'm glad we're on the same page then."

"Yeah, I'm happy too," Kaneki smiled brightly with his teeth before frowning. Hide said his great grandfather was a ghoul. Hide's great grandfather was a ghoul. Hide's great grandfather was a ghoul and his grandfather was a half-ghoul. "Wait!" Kaneki yelled sharply as his grip tighten on Hide's hand causing the other to wince, "your dad's a ghoul!?"

Hide smiled at Kaneki, "one-third ghoul" Hide spoke through gritted teeth. Inhaling deeply Hide blinked rapidly at Kaneki, "are you now digesting that?" Hide asked in disbelief.

"Well you gave too much information at once!" Kaneki objected immediately. Hide was a near expert at derailing a conversation from the important parts. Well at least he was when Kaneki took part in the conversation, "anybody would take a moment to actually acknowledge that!"

Hide rolled his eyes, "well my mistake! No need to yell at me!" Hide said loudly before puffing his cheeks up as he looked at Kaneki.

"I'm not!-" Kaneki paused for a moment to take a deep breath. "Sorry for yelling at you, but your dad is one-third ghoul?"

Hide nodded his head at Kaneki, "yeah."

"So you grew up watching your grandpa eat humans? You said your dad was basically a normal human, so he didn't eat that in front of you right?" Kaneki rushed the sentence. Was Hide used to seeing ghouls eat? Did that explain Hide's easy acceptance of ghouls?

Hide smiled knowingly. "Nah man, I said he's only one-third ghoul. That means he can only eat the foods humans can. Or at least we assume he can; not that he has tried human flesh," Hided admitted with a shrug.

"Oh, okay" Kaneki said numbly as he stared dazedly at Hide. Blinking repeatedly, Kaneki shook his head slightly before he asked his next question: "sorry if this sounds rude, but why hasn't he ate human flesh?"

Hide blew air up to his hair, "my dad? That is because he's more human than he is ghoul. Dad said that he would feel like he would be committing cannibalism if he ate a human. But grandpa said that eating ghoul flesh is not cannibalism."

"Because your dad is one-third of ghoul," Kaneki said as he nodded his head in agreement.

Hide shrugged with a grin plastered on his face, "well it is that and something else, they say they relate more to humans; so, they feel as if they would be committing a sin if they eat humans."

"They?" Kaneki asked with a strained voice.

Hide squinted at Kaneki, "dad, grandpa, and allegedly great grandpa." Hide listed in a flat tone.

"I get why your dad would feel that way but your grandfather is a half ghoul. He needs human flesh to survive," Kaneki stated ignoring Hide's comment about his great grandpa.

Hide tilted his with a sheepish smile on his face, "grandpa feels like he would be betraying grandma if he went out and killed a human for food." Hide started to cross his arms as he nodded, "Is that weird?" Hide asked Kaneki.

And that wasn't weird. Kaneki truly did understand what Hide's grandfather must had felt. Earlier that day when presented a human's corpse Kaneki only saw one face on the body. It didn't matter that the face should have looked different but when Kaneki looked at the face he only saw Hide. Saw Hide's face on the body.

The thought made Kaneki so nauseous. What if one day Kaneki actually saw _Hide_ that way. As if Hide was only food and nothing else. It was a horrible thought but now that Kaneki had the chance to think about actually eating humans, Kaneki felt depressed. How could Kaneki kill and eat humans when he spent most of his life as one? How could he kill or eat a human when all he could imagine was his most important person's face on the body of the person he killed?

"No, I understand," Kaneki said softly as he gazed at the joined hand of his and Hide's. "When he would look at a dead human or kill a human he would probably see the human he loves the most and that-" Kaneki paused as he took a deep breath "-that would be truly painful."

Hide rubbed his thumb against Kaneki's knuckle. "You speak like you experienced this already," Hide said.

"I just thought about it and remembered earlier with that ghoul," Kaneki admitted. "When I looked at the human corpse all I saw was your face. It made me sick at myself."

Hide hummed a familiar tune as he gained a thoughtful glint in his eyes. "Well I'm happy you care so much for me," Hide said with a small smile. "So what do you plan to eat?"

Still staring at their hands, Kaneki brought the hand up to his face to nuzzle it.

"You'll always be the most treasured to me," Kaneki said softly in a barely audible whisper as he continued to stare down at Hide's hand.

"What's with you and talking in a really low voice?" Hide asked jokingly.

Kaneki hummed lightly as he lifted his head to smile at Hide. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Hide pouted childishly at Kaneki.

"Hey Hide?" Kaneki asked.

Hide hummed and Kaneki lowered their hands so it rested on the table between them. "If your grandpa doesn't kill humans does he eat the bodies of suicide victims?"

"I thought I said this already," Hide said with his brow bent in confusion. "Grandpa doesn't eat humans at all."

Kaneki inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Then what does he eat? The only thing a ghoul can eat besides humans are-" Kaneki stopped for a moment. Why didn't he put more thought into this? Before with the body of the dead ghoul and human, Kaneki had choose the body of the ghoul. Eating the bodies of ghouls made a ghoul stronger. Yamori had yet to arrive and Kaneki –as he was now- wasn't strong enough to protect Hide. Kaneki needed to get stronger as soon as possible. He had to protect Hide. He must do what he failed to do in the original timeline. "Ghouls," Kaneki finished his thought.

"Bingo!" Hide said cheerfully, "Grandpa feasts on other ghouls."

Tightening his grip on Hide's hand briefly, Kaneki loosened his hold as he spoke. "Wouldn't that be cannibalism?"

"And wouldn't it be cannibalism if grandpa ate only humans?" Hide asked defensively.

Kaneki shrugged slightly, "Well-"

"Grandpa is half-human and half-ghoul. It would be cannibalism either way," Hide pointed out with a sigh.

Kaneki closed his eyes before opening them and gazing at Hide, "but-"

"Think of it from grandpa's perspective. There are ghouls who only eat so they can survive. Grandpa leaves those kinds alone," Hide said neutrally. "Then there are those that binge eat to the point that they throw up only to eat more and repeat the process," Hide took a deep breath. "There are also those that torture or play violent rigged games with humans, there is also a portion that kill humans just for the fun of it and not for food," Hide stopped talking to look directly in Kaneki's eyes.

Gripping Kaneki's hand firmly, Hide continued. "What is your opinions of ghouls like that? What would you feel if one tried to kill me for fun? How about torturing me? What about playing a violent and rigged game just so that they could have entertainment before eating me? Or how about what that one ghoul we met today? How would you feel if about ghouls who-"

"Shut up" Kaneki said with a low growl as he grabbed Hide's arms tightly. Kakugan appearing, Kaneki barred his teeth with a sneer at the thought of the ghoul from before, "I would kill them."

Hide inhaled deeply before smiling at Kaneki. "That's how grandpa feels. He believes that those types don't deserve to live. Both human versions and ghouls. And I kind of agree with him. Humans are sentient beings. So are ghouls. They both have feelings and families that would miss them. Now I'm not siding with any particular side but in order to achieve peace, both sides need to admit this fact and respect it. Humans need to see ghouls as people and not just emotionless monster; and ghouls need to have enough respect towards humans to kill only for the sake of survival if they have to choose that option instead of living off suicide victims," Hide took a deep breath at the end of his sentence. Biting his lip harshly, Hide looked down at the table, "sorry if that sounded harsh."

Kaneki's hands fluttered down to grasp at Hide's.

"No," Kaneki shook his head as he gently squeezed Hide's hands. "I agree," because it is true. The cycle of hatred would never end if both sides continued as they are. So many tragedies could have been prevented. So much hatred on both sides that could had been curtailed. "I agree with your grandfather," Kaneki said with a fond smile as he started to rub circles on Hide's palm. "I know what I'm going to do now," Kaneki said brightly as he let go of Hide's hand.

Hide tilted his head in thought. "About what you're going to eat?"

"I don't want to see you hurt and I don't want you in danger," Kaneki stated as he stood up.

Hide tilted his head up as he watched Kaneki, "So?"

"I'm going to eat ghouls. The kind that don't deserve to live. The kind your grandfather eats. I'll make this town a better place for you," Kaneki stated firmly as he walked over to the entryway.

Hide quickly stood up to follow Kaneki. "Where are you going?" Hide asked as he watched Kaneki place a jacket on.

"To get ghoul meat," Kaneki stated from where he sat to place on his shoes.

Hide bent down to gather his shoes and slipped them on. "Okay and where do you plan to get this ghoul meat from?"

"The body of the ghoul from before, it should still be in the alley," Kaneki stated as he stood up.

Hide paused to look up at the standing Kaneki. Tugging Kaneki's pant Hide smiled as Kaneki looked down, "I already took everything from the body."

"What?" Kaneki asked as he stopped moving to frown at Hide.

Hide kicked off his shoes as he wondered into the kitchen, Kaneki followed behind Hide. "I don't actually know how to cut up a body so I sawed off the major parts like arms, legs, and head before stuffing everything inside the fridge," Hide gestured at the fridge.

"Oh," Kaneki said numbly as he walked into the strong bleach smelling kitchen. Looking around the spotless kitchen Kaneki grinned, "you cleaned."

Hide rolled his eyes, "well you kind of have to after you cut up a body on the kitchen counter."

Kaneki frowned slightly as he opened up the fridge.

Hide was speaking the truth. He really did cut up the body. Legs were folded at the bottom shelf with an arm resting on top of them. The other arm was encircling the head on the shelf above the bottom. Neatly stacked next to the arm and head were a multitude of plastic containers filled with what Kaneki assumed to be organ parts. And on the very top shelf was the continuation of more containers filled with organs.

"Hide?" Kaneki asked hesitantly as he gaped at the insides of the fridge. "Where's the human food?"

Hide huffed as he motioned to the sink and cabinets. "Any perishable you had like milk was already bad so I threw those out and anything that was still good I ate."

"And what about you?" Kaneki asked as he closed the fridge, "you need to eat food too!"

Hide crossed his arms as he rolled his eyes. "Ramen," Hide stated, "and TV dinners."

"You can't live off ramen for the rest of your life!" Kaneki groaned loudly as he brought a hand up to message his temple. "It is unhealthy."

Hide blew a raspberry at Kaneki. "I totally could" Hide retorted with an exaggerated pout. "But this is a makeshift organization until we find a new apartment," Hide paused as he casted a watery look at Kaneki "or did you forget we're moving to a new place?" he added while fluttering his eyes.

Kaneki sighed, "of course not."

"We should rent a place with a bigger fridge," Hide said as he nodded to himself. "I would hate having to eat TV dinners and ramen for the rest of my life."

Kaneki's eyes widened as his cheeks flushed. "I woul- wait" Kaneki paused to cough into his fist, moving his hands away from his mouth, Kaneki gripped his shirt as he spoke in a strained voice. "Rest of your life?!" he squeaked out.

"Way to go, reversing your puberty like that," Hide snickered before Kaneki pinched him. "Sorry, couldn't help myself," Hide apologized and Kaneki released his hold of Hide's cheeks. Rubbing his cheeks, Hide looked down as he bit his lip, "so you mean we're not going to keep on-"

Kaneki waved his hands around in a flustered movement. "No! I mean I would love to keep on living with you for the rest of my life. I just thought you would get tired of me," Kaneki admitted with a bright blush on his face.

"Tired of you? You think too little of me." Hide said as he placed his hands on his hips.

Kaneki's tensed form relaxed as he heaved a sigh of relief. "Hmmm. Hey Hide," Kaneki asked.

"Yeah?"

"Were are my notes and homework?" Kaneki asked as he scratched his head. "I would like to get that all done before I go to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us so I want to do all my work now," he reminded Hide.

Hide nodded his head as he walked out of the kitchen. "Sure, were do you want to work on it?"

"My desk would be fine, is my work already there?" Kaneki asked as he followed Hide.

"Yeah, I thought you might want to work on it there" Hide said as he handed Kaneki a stack of papers and notes. "So I'll be out here. Holler if you have questions about the assignments."

Kaneki smiled slightly as he made his way to his bedroom. "Will do" he loudly spoke before entering his bedroom.

* * *

**A/N:** So, I was really conflicted on letting my theory of Hide's cannon unusualness. I needed a way to explain Hide's strength (novel canon: Hide was able to overpower the hungry ghoul "Cain") and why he was able to sense that Nishio was "poisonous" (Hide's word from the manga). Thus me not doing the 'Wasshu theory' or the 'full ghoul/half-ghoul theory'. I wanted to do something that explained everything about Hide's cannon strength and senses; so, I presented my theory. With this theory, Hide is stronger than the average human (except the ones that work out religiously) but weaker than the average ghoul (starving ones not counting). I present my 'technically not ghoul and technically not fully human but still can enjoys the joyful world of burgers'.

Kaneki decided to go back to eating ghouls, not that I blame him. Every human corpse he sees, he sees Hide's face on it. Also got to remember that Kaneki was human for 19 years.

While if Kaneki was to eat a ghoul, he wouldn't see important faces on the ghoul's body and Kaneki gets stronger! Win-win. Because Yamori will come.

(1) The reason why Kaneki said Washuu is because of publicity. They're probably are more clans like the Washuus(?) but they are not known by the general public. With only the Washuus being known for their remarkable strength, Kaneki would only think of them as an example.

(2) Hide's dad is one third ghoul this makes Hide having 3/4 human and 1/4 ghoul from his Dad. So it would be 7 against 1. That genetic box that is normally taught in biology: a person has both dominate (D) genes and recessive (R) genes. Hide's box would have most of his genes dominate (depending on what other genes the other parent passed on).

Hide's recessive genes would be the ghoul genes and whatever physical traits he did not receive. Remember the box of genetics! The ghoul's genetic is considered recessive when surrounded by human genes but on closer inspection a person could still have ghoul like characteristic. It all depends on if the genes are strong enough to beat out the other genes.

It's like hair. My mother is blond, yet she has some strands of different color in her hair. This is because even if recessive, the genes to some hair colors can be active (technically speaking all genes are active, it just depends if they are dominate). I am a brunette but I still find blond or red hair strands in my hair brush, not a lot but enough to show the wonderful science.

Onto a different note; humans and ghouls are closely related. The significant difference is the RC count. When a human's RC count gathers in one place and builds up, they develop a kagune. But humans would have to increase their RC count to keep being functional and alive (whatshisname's sister has this and is dying because of it). When this happens it is considered a disease and treated as such.

Now if both humans and ghouls have RC counts and humans can develop Kagune, can it be assumed that humans and ghouls are closely related. Humans are more related to ghouls than anything else known in the TG universe. So with that out of the way, the big question is where they separate from each other.

We can cross out Domain, Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, and Genus.

Limiting our choices to Species we are faced with another question, Superspecies, species, subspecies, and infraspecies.

Remember, humans can develop Kagune. On the scienticfic scale, I would place humans as Species with ghouls as Superspecies with humans as the generic species due to the fact that humans can develop Kagune (a ghoul characteristic). So with this in mind, ghouls and humans can procreate; and their procreated offspring (like Eto) can also have children with either spieces if she chose to.

Anyways, Kaneki and Hide will go apartment hunting next chapter.

Spoiler for upcoming chapter: Kaneki purposely wants to move into the apartment right beneath Nishio's apartment. Cue Kaneki's and Nishio's conversation after they send Kimi and Hide to get takeout.


End file.
